A few weeks ago I went to a shopping center that was in the middle of nowhere and had a terrible food court selection. I had brought some snacks with me, like always, but I figured I’d see if there was anything that I could have anyway as I was a little hungry and, let’s face it, totally bored of the snacks in my purse. I came across a smoothie stand. Smoothies are one of those things that in theory *should* be gluten free – fruit, juice, milk, ice, whatev… no gluten, right? Notsofast. Often times gluten is used in these kinds of things as a thickener. (Stupid, if you ask me.) So, I asked the guy behind the cash register if I could read the label for the mix that they use. I made sure there was no one behind me in line… and while annoyed about my request he humored me and showed me the bag. All was fine. Took about 90 seconds of time to hand over the bag and let me scan the ingredients label. No big deal, right? Except that silly cashier had to make the comment “If you get sick that easily, why don’t you just eat at home? I wouldn’t eat out if I was you.”

So naturally I said “Listen jerkwad, I realize that taking 90 seconds out of your day is a huge inconvenience to you. I mean, you probably had something better to do like stare at the ceiling. Just help a gluten free chick out, ok? And stop your whining.” Ok, so that’s not what I said at all. Just what I thought. I smiled at him and just said “Well where’s the fun in that?” But seriously – this is something I’ve come up against a lot recently. I have friends in the food service industry, and I’ve read blog rants about people with allergies showing up to eat and ask for accommodations. Oh my, the NERVE of us people that think maybe, just maybe it’s nice to eat out and feel normal sometimes. As normal as can be for a crazy like me, anyway.

The reality is – ask me four years ago and I probably would have been one of the whiners. I used to work at a family fun center as a party hostess – had a party requested special accommodations for food allergies I may have internally rolled my eyes while smiling on the outside, just like many I’m sure. So I get it. I really do. It’s annoying that you have to go out of your way, take special care of us, and have the weight on you that if we get sick you may have had something to do with it. Most of us do eat at home a lot more than we may have before our diagnosis.

But can you imagine being told that you can’t ever eat out again? Boy howdy, that would downright suck for most of us, right? It was a huge change for me after diagnosis – I felt like suddenly my social life took a turn. People didn’t ask me out to eat as much. I didn’t go out to eat as much because I had anxiety about getting sick (and still do, actually). If I did go out, I’d consider eating beforehand and just go to get a drink, but then I spend way too much time explaining why I am not eating and have people try to convince me to get a salad or eat something that I’d really rather not risk. So when I find a gluten free menu, or a restaurant that is willing to cater to my diet, it brings me so much joy that it’s probably stupid to gluten eaters. Because when you’re a gluten eater, you don’t realize how nice it can be to just feel normal and eat like a regular person once in a while.

I’ve come up with a list of suggestions for both the food industry folks and the gluten free folks alike.

Gluten free restaurant goers, I’m talking to you. And I’m going to be a little snarky here. Surprise, surprise.

1 – Don’t be a jerk. When requesting a special accommodation, be kind and pleasant. Don’t act like you’re entitled. Your wait staff will be annoyed, will probably spit in your food, and you make the rest of us gluten free people look bad.
2 – Be considerate in your requests, both for the chef and the other guests. I tend to eat at places that already offer a gluten free menu – but if for some reason I was going somewhere I was unsure about, you can bet I wouldn’t be going during a Saturday night dinner rush without at least calling ahead. You’ll be slowing everyone down to understand the situation – try calling ahead when they’re not so busy and see what you can arrange. (I know this doesn’t always work, but I think it’s a good rule to try and abide by.)
3 – Tip well. So it sucks that we have Celiac Disease. And boo hoo we have to pay more to eat out. But if people are going above and beyond to ensure a good and safe meal for you – show them your appreciation. Wait staff always appreciates cold hard cash. Letters to the manager are also nice when someone does a great job.

Gluten eating restaurant staff:

1 – Please understand that my request for a gluten free meal isn’t intended to make your job more difficult. In fact it means that I have faith in you and your job, and that you’d be able to provide me with a pleasant meal.
2 – Please know that your efforts are greatly appreciated. I know it sucks to have to spend extra time going out of your normal routine to accommodate me, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. (And see my point #3 above. I’ll make it known that you’re appreciated!)
3 – I say this in the nicest way possible: Try and have some compassion. If I was able to eat gluten, I would. I didn’t choose this life. The best I can do is try and make the most of a crappy (no pun intended) situation. Read this post if you want a little bit of insight to the mindset change that someone goes through with a diagnosis like Celiac disease. Your effort in making a gluten free meal for me helps make my life a little bit more fun, a little bit less annoying, and makes me have hope and feel better about the future for all of my fellow gluten free peeps.

*Please note – I don’t expect everyone to accommodate me and my ‘high maintenance’ diet. It’s always safest to prepare food yourself at home. And as always, I understand eating out is always a risk and it’s solely my responsibility to take control of my health. It’s just nice sometimes to have other people on your team, too.