So I move on to my next best idea. Cook for myself. And what better way to enjoy fine dining than via a pre-packaged meal and a microwave? Tonight I had the Simply Asia Singapore Street Noodles – and ok, they didn’t make me feel like I was in Singapore (almost, though!) … but they were quite tasty for about three minutes worth of effort.

It’s actually quite exciting when you get over the “loser” factor – when you realize how many great options are becoming readily available for us gluten haters. I mean, sure, I would not recommend microwave dinners every night, but when you have a hot date and want to impress him with your skillz in the kitchen, I think these are *just* the ticket, don’t you?

But once I became a gluten hater, holidays became a little more tricky. Because

1 – I don’t cook so there is NO WAY I am hosting the holidays. hahaha. That’s funny!
2 – Most of my family didn’t “get it” for a while so expecting that they’d prepare food that wouldn’t make me sick was unlikely.
2b – And even if they DID get it, I’ll admit I often have anxiety over people preparing my food without my involvement. Sorry, I hate to be a control freak. But my intestines thank me for it.
3 – Nowhere offers gluten free Thanksgiving meals….

Except that some places do. Which was ah-mazing to find out, letmetellyou.

My parents and I headed out to Wilson Creek Winery on Thanksgiving day and we had an incredible buffet.

Imma little sad I didn't stuff my pockets with food to have for dinner, too.

One where everything was labeled clearly, separated well (to prevent cross contamination from spoons and such) and I could eat the vast majority of everything. It made me happy. So very happy. It’s funny how these days good gluten free food can turn a frown upside down.

Um, yes please?

And later that night, for dinner? I had pie. From a local Temecula bakery (that will have a storefront cafe soon!) So Good Gluten Free Foods.

The best part about being a Celiac around the holidays? I don’t share my gluten free pie. If I can’t eat theirs? They can’t eat mine.

Time for a Chipotle bowl!

Right after I was diagnosed with Celiac disease, I looked around at all of the restaurants in my town to see where I could eat a good gluten free meal when I didn’t want to eat at home. I unfortunately didn’t have many options, so Chipotle & In-n-Out became my two local “go to” places. I found out that the only thing I couldn’t eat was your flour tortillas … and while cross contamination is an issue anywhere that serves gluten ingredients, having the employee change their gloves would help minimize that risk. At first, employees would look at me a little strange when I asked them to change their gloves and I’d quickly explain with a smile that it was for “an allergy.” Ok, we all know Celiac is an intolerance, not an allergy… but allergy is easier to explain. But when you have hungry people behind you that want their freaking burrito, sometimes I opt for ease of explanation rather than most factual explanation.

Anyway, soon they added the policy (at least at my frequented location) that when I mentioned I had an allergy, the person automatically knew to take my bowl down the line instead of handing it off. And in the last year I’ve noticed I rarely have to ask for that, most people just “get it” – so kudos to everyone for making my job easier and helping a girl out!

However, Chipotle, I had a head scratching moment the last time I visited … I asked one employee to change her gloves due to my “allergy” and she was happy to oblige. Another employee spoke up and said “What are you allergic to?” I responded with “Wheat” (again, shoot me, I know I’m wrong but since some people still look at me with three heads when I say “gluten” I opt for easy in situations like this.) Instead of “Ohhh” or “I seee” I got a “None of our items contain wheat.” Oh really, what the hell are the flour tortillas made out of then? Instead of saying that out loud, I swallowed those thoughts and just said “Yes, there is wheat in a flour tortilla. But thanks.” I should have spoken to a manager right then, but I did not. Instead I decided to blog about it. Why?

Well – first of all. I like to blab.

Secondly - I believe that living a gluten free lifestyle is first and foremost OUR responsibility. It’s OUR job to be educated. We can’t expect anyone to protect us to the same level we need to protect ourselves … after all they’re not the ones running to the bathroom after they eat some gluten, right? Yes, my hope is that one day we will be able to trust everyone that serves us food … but in the meantime we have to take ownership of our health. No excuses!

Thirdly - education! I think an experience like this is so common, and yet often ends up leaving the gluten hater frustrated and feeling helpless. Instead of just whining about it to my friends, or simply just  telling a manager – why don’t we use these opportunities to educate people? From the dummy at Chipotle, to gluten eating friends, to the world wide web that may stumble on my blog post. Let’s use opportunities like this to better our future gluten hating world instead of just moping about. Sound like a plan?

And now I’m off to email corporate a link to this post….

UPDATE: Wooooo Chipotle you officially impressed me! Less than 2 hours after I emailed them I received the following response from Austin Roberts:

Melissa,

Thanks so much for writing to us and sharing your blog. We actually try to be as gluten-friendly as possible and this is part of our training that all of our teams go through. Our burrito and taco flour tortillas definitely have gluten in them and I apologize if our employees were misinformed. I am also sorry that you got a funny look when you asked our employees to change their gloves as this is definitely something we care about and try to accommodate as best as we can. I will make sure our teams are well trained and versed in gluten and how we can assist our gluten intolerant customers better. Thanks again for the feedback and hopefully your next experience will be much better.

Sincerely,
Austin

When you haven’t had something for a while, you start to remember it fondly even if you didn’t like it in the first place. Like – would I have EVER said “OMG I love store bought cookies above all others?!” four years ago? ha, NO! But, I’ve had cravings the last few weeks for Albertson’s chocolate chip cookies. Boring, plain, chocolate chip cookies. Out of a bag. Nothing fancy. Nothing special.

And yet, why did I get a little misty eyed when I saw this photo?

All I want for Christmas is a good, solid, not too soft, not-grainy chocolate chip cookie that doesn’t fall apart when I eat it. IS THAT SO HARD TO FIND? Sigh. It’s tough being gluten free some days. SO tell me – do you have any faves that you think meet my criteria above? I will kiss you right on the lips if you do!

Lots of things have been happening in my life these days. The biggest being that I am no longer with my husband (he and I remain great friends, and I care about him deeply).

But you know what closing one chapter has meant? Dating. And you haven’t REALLY dated until you’ve done it with Celiac disease. Let me tell you, it’s a great way to weed people out right off the bat. “Hey, so I’m only willing to go with you to like three restaurants. I don’t care if you like them or not, if you want to spend time with my awesome self, you’re going to have to like PF Changs & In-n-Out, dammit! Otherwise I might make you feed me pepto bismol for dessert. And that is just SO not sexy.” If a guy looks at you like you have three heads and suggests that you can try eating out at their favorite restaurant anyway, because they’re sure you’ll be fine? Walk away because he’s annoying. (And hey dude, look at item #2 here: http://whatthegf.com/2012/05/so-someone-you-love-just-got-diagnosed-with-celiac-disease/)

And if they buy a bottle of pepto to keep in their car for your first date? Well, give the dude a second date even if he wore socks with sandals. Because he freaking deserves it.

They’re closed on Sundays, it seems, so watch out for that. I realized this because it was Saturday. And I thought it was Sunday. And almost drove away until I went “WTF am I thinking? It’s Saturday!” Which was pretty awesome, because I felt like I was given an entire extra day in my weekend at that moment.

I started with the sweet potato fries. Which are in a shared fryer, not a dedicated one, but they make sure to mark that clearly on their menu. I was willing to take the risk because I freaking LOVE sweet potato fries. And they did not disappoint anything but my waistline.

And then I ordered a salad. Which was SO good. I mean really good. I generally don’t eat salads which is pretty silly – since they’re a generally easy to make gluten free option. But I think that’s why I don’t eat them often – because otherwise that’s all I’d eat. And that is BORING.

And for dessert, it’s also not too far from Casey’s Cupcakes. Just a short block away. And they have a gluten free red velvet, which I will review later.

Oh Megan, I could kiss you right now.

You see, cinnamon rolls are one of the two things I miss desperately. I weep when I think of what I am missing out on, and maybe they were never really that great to start with. But being told you can’t have them, and then being forced to smell the amazingness every time you walk by a Cinnabon in the mall, my mind has convinced me that they really are the best things ever.

So I made it my mission to get my gluten free rear end to Mariposa’s. I chose the San Francisco location, which is located in the Ferry Building. Which made a girl like me a little road ragey because I hate parking in busy cities. But… I found a spot that’s about a quick ten minute walk to the bakery.

I’ve never been in this building before, but I kinda want to move in. It’s full of lovely little shops that are adorable and quirky.

And then, then I saw Mariposa’s. I bought a few goodies, including a cinnamon roll for now, a muffin for tomorrow, a pizza for lunch, and another cinnamon roll because I love them.

The Angels sang. It was a beautiful moment biting in to that cinnamon roll. It made me forget about Cinnabon altogether. So, a gluten eater might try it and think “WTF? This is nothing like a normal cinnamon roll.” but I wouldn’t believe you. My taste buds were happy and that’s all that matters, right? Totally worth the parking and the walk, if you ask me.

The second week of July I spent in Nicaragua. I wish I had better documented the food because it is mostly a Celiac’s dream down there! I’m going back in January, though, so I’ll make sure to take better photos of the food next time. (Shame on you, photographer!) I did, however, make sure to grab a photo of some fried plantains I had for breakfast. These babies are amazing. I bought a plantain when I came home hoping to replicate them – and quickly realized I needed a deep fryer. Well that just sounded like a healthy disaster, so I decided against buying a deep fryer to fry a single plantain. Saaaad day up in here, that day.

But in other news. Alcohol. It seems to be one of the things that most of the young 20 something gluten free folks that find my blog seem to care about. NO BEER?!?! Say what?! But don’t worry, friends… we’re not *totally* out of luck. There’s still some alcohol in this world that we’re allowed to partake of (completely responsibly, of course!)

I found this gluten free hard cider at a local small liquor store and decided to buy a case of it. It’s the Angry Orchard Hard Cider – Crisp Apple. It was somewhere around $8 for the 6 pack – not too expensive at all, particularly since I am used to paying inflated prices for gluten free anything.

Angry Orchard Hard Cider. The bottle isn't that big and my head isn't that small, it's all about proportions, people!

Notice that nice line across the bottom that states “Naturally Gluten Free”. Those words kinda make me happy these days – I love naturally gluten free things.

Please note I’m not an alcohol connoisseur. I am just a 27 year old chick that never tried real beer before turning into a gluten hater. So my experience is limited and I don’t know any fancy terms for anything. I just know what I like and can tell you my thoughts!

I’ve tried other ciders and this one stood out to me a bit for being a bit more sour. And sweet. It’s not nearly as “dry” as some I’ve tried. (What does that MEAN? I hate calling a liquid dry!) I’ll admit I prefer a good pear cider, but this is pretty darn good, seemingly easy to find ($8.99 for each of the three flavor packs at BevMo!), and is perfect to stock in my fridge or have at a party when I need to switch up my regular ridiculous sugary foofy drinks. (Like Malibu & pineapple, yum!) It does pack 200 calories/bottle, though, which makes me a little disappointed considering the other two flavors (Traditional Dry & Apple Ginger) are only 165 & 150, respectively. Ah well, I pretend calories from alcohol don’t count.

I’ll plan to buy the other flavors and compare – but *really* don’t need 2 more 6 packs for myself. Who wants to come over and help me review?

But I’m going to call her out – just like every other tabloid has done – and say it: Miley, girlfriend you’re looking mighty skinny these days. And if you’re being healthy, and I mean really healthy, then rock on. But see, I also worry about you. I worry that you’ve fallen in to the Hollywood trap of never being thin enough. I worry because… you were beautiful before and now you’re looking dangerously thin. I worry about the possibility that you are using a gluten free lifestyle as justification as a potentially unhealthy lifestyle, under the guise of ‘health’ because gluten is ‘crappp anyway.’

Eating gluten free doesn’t mean you’re actually eating HEALTHY. (And conversely, for many people that don’t have a gluten intolerance, eating healthy doesn’t necessarily mean eating gluten free!) See, if I actually wrote down what I ate last Saturday, you might be a little disgusted. I had In N Out for lunch (yummm protein style burger, and OMG I’m obsessed with some In N Out fries). Then I had pizza for dinner. With pesto sauce on top. And then I went to Baskin Robbins for dessert. You see most days I eat pretty healthy, but I tell myself that calories on Saturdays don’t count (please oh please don’t let my personal trainer read this post!). Everything I ate on Saturday was gluten free. And nothing was healthy. In fact often times a gluten free item can actually contain more calories than it’s gluten filled counterpart. And often times many items marked ‘gluten free’ in the store are so processed it might turn your insides to stone. (I don’t know that scientifically, it’s just a guess.)

So Miley, just because you’re eating gluten free, doesn’t mean you’re being healthy. I hope you are. I really do. But I also wouldn’t mind taking you to Baskin Robbins and introducing you to my favorite ice cream – maybe a few scoops of it.

1 – Don’t sympathize. Empathize. If you don’t “get it” don’t say that you do. If you don’t know what it’s like, don’t pretend like you get it. It’s ok to not understand what your newly diagnosed gluten hating friend is going through. Being diagnosed with something like Celiac disease (or any food allergy/intolerance/etc, I’d imagine) comes with a strange mourning process. Don’t try and understand it, just be there for them. And tell them you love them.

2 – Don’t suggest that ‘it’s ok to have a little, right?’ NO. It’s not ok to have a little gluten. Ever. People still ask me ‘Well you *can* eat gluten, right? You just won’t feel good afterwards?’ NOPE. Gluten is like poison to a Celiac. Not only do I feel like dying after I’ve had a little, it can do some major long term damage if I don’t avoid it at all costs. It’s not worth it, so don’t piss off your gluten hating friend by trying to get them to take a bite of your delicious cinnabon. Mmm cinnabon.

3 – Become a gluten hater, too. At least in spirit. Get educated. Learn about the disease. Find out what gluten is and what it means to have Celiac disease. Your interest in your gluten hater’s life and disease will be appreciated. (And had you done this first, you could have avoided point 2.)

4 – Find some gluten free restaurants in the area and invite them to dinner. When they’re ready. There is a lot of anxiety that goes with eating out once you become a Celiac. It can be scary – I hate trying new places because I know that ‘gluten free’ does not always mean gluten free in the restaurant world. Find some reviews here: http://www.glutenfreeregistry.com/ PF Changs is always a great go-to option for me – one of the better chain options, in my experience!

5 – Don’t be offended if your gluten hating friend doesn’t want to eat at your house for dinner. I appreciate offers to cook for me – but I know my diet better than a gluten eating person. And I know my dishes & utensils are gluten free. My decision not to eat your food has nothing to do with not appreciating you – but everything to do with making sure my health comes first. And let’s face it, if you did get me sick, I’d be crying in the bathroom and you’d feel horrible. That would suck for everyone. So don’t take it personally.

6 – If your gluten hating friend has to run to the restroom when you’re with them, get some pepto bismol ready for them when they come back … and then pretend it never happened.